For a friend

I was reading someones blog and I felt as if I had been sitting near to them as they spoke and poured the tears we do not see onto paper, and they were part of my own to claim. The life we live walking around trying to find something accepting, and I see myself in the reflection of the insanity, of the existance we spend so much time mourning our childhoods, our livlihoods away. We look for someone to accept us as we are and as these people walk on by without a glance in our direction we feel ourselves grow smaller and smaller inside and our worth in the world declines. The imperfections stare back at us as we look in the mirror to find some comfort in some kind of "legitimate" beauty, and it makes us invisable to the world and to ourselves. It gets so far as to make us forget the things that were ever once considered beautiful or acceptable in the eyes of just our own selves.
We become misplaced souls within a body of disgust and hideousness and lose the persons we may have ever once been for the sake of painting a face, cutting a stomach, cracking a nose, injecting the lips, measuring our hips, and inflating our breasts. We have become bodies without spirits and hatred without a cause. We instill the mentality into those who dont look like Janice Dickenson or Tyra Banks, that they have less to offer the world and become the abused and used. We breed ignorance in our selfishness and shamful habits and make the lives of people a burdened hell because we choose not to understand them. And if all of this is considered beauty, then please call me ugly, because I do not want to be that kind of pretty. I will not live this life to please the eyes of judging, and I will not lay down as the rug and be dirty with the foot prints of those who truly are the words of "ugly" and "dismaying".