Love Me

Love me
A new influence
On my child like body
Pink tees and ruffled panties
In a world of impurity
Ugly things in all that once was pretty
The lap of a human now tense feelings
No longer free with childhood memories
No more normality
A deep shade of darkening in these dreams
I once was blind and I still cant see
God help me, save me
Take me from the hands of ugly
Turn filth into diamonds and rubys
Simple things once, now just another existing
I wish I knew the answers
The meanings to this being
Tears locked away never seen
My heart so heavy with burden
So sore from carrying
My body fallen from anything but disgusting
Laid in a corner of empty and forgotten
Hated and seethed
Never again just me
The me I used to be
Numb past awaken and ability
Hurt deep beyond just stinging and burning
Knives through my young heart
Unable to beat freely, an inconsistancy
Maybe someday able to breath
To love, to have loving
Hugs and kisses no longer a secure thing
But hope keeps me here
Alive for another beating
And beyond bad and horrible
I can find someone, something
To love me....just me....

Hatred

Hatred
this hatred burning deeply
the pain of all my destiny
all the searing words im hearing
the look of eyes, their watching
the feeling in all my disappointing
theyre glaring and staring
im alone in all their hatred blaring
the sound of music haunting
loudly I hear it growing
and not too far away
I know their lording
over me, my head its smashing
smearing the blood, my life
across the walls, the floors of wanting
desires rhythm taunting
piercing through my heart, I feel it dying
the child inside crying
I feel her body crumbling
against the flooring, her spirit drowning
and washed away the rain of empty
down the drain a forgotten being
never to live a life of innocently
an unlived body of uncondtioned loving

Beautiful child

Beautiful Child

painted these eyes of misery
sadness to cry in tears of agony
turned a face so warm
a cold hard earth to adorn and scorn
to harm a heart so worn
tattered a fate already sworn
promised a destiny of brown eyed doors
to look beyond a life of beaten horrors
never forgotten a childs words
bleeding I can hear her screaming,
behind closed doors
never to know the pain of her scars
to trace a little girls arms
the tears to wipe from her bleeding heart
all the sorrow in a babys marks
to know, an angel raped and maimed
loving a child so betrayed
but here I am to always stay
to promise you, all thats loving
accepting you for all your worthy
more than all the stars and counting